You've heard the warnings before: "Bundle up or you'll catch your death of cold." "Put that down before you poke out your eye."
For Tuesday, Oct. 27, read "Cyclops" by David Sedaris (the handout in the holder on my office door). On the blog, tell us two things: What is your favorite "warning" from the Sedaris piece, and what oddball warning do you remember hearing an adult tell a child.
My favorite is one my wife used to tell our children when they pouted: "If a cold wind blows, your face will freeze like that." They actually believed it until they were older.
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My favorite warning from the Sedaris piece was the one that talked about lightning hitting you. When it said "the lightning can be attracted by a wedding ring or even the fillings in your teeth." I like this one beacause with what I know now, it just makes me laugh. One warning that I remember from when I was a child is that if I crossed my eyes for too long then they would stay like that. I never quite believed my parents but I always uncrossed my eyes as soon as I heard that.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite warning from the Sedaris piece was the one that talked about the dangers within a shop. "The problem with a hammer...is that the head can fly off at any moment and, boy let me tell you, you've never imagined pain like that." I really like this one because you see it in cartoons as a child but never really hear about it happening in real life. One warning from my childhood that has always stuck with me was "don't kiss that toad. You will get warts." My dad told this to me because I had an obsession with toads. One day I really did kiss one. Little did I know he saw me do it. So he told me that. As a young 6 year old, I believed him and broke down in tears. I was terrified of getting warts!
ReplyDeletemy favorite warning from the Sedaris piece is the one about New York. " New York! Are you out of your mind? You might as well take a razor to your throat because, let me tell you, those New Yorkers will eat you alive." i like this because i go to NY all the time and i have never been bothered by anyone there. My favorite warning was not to make any funny faces because if i did it to much, it would stay that way. Being a kid i would believe that and i never made a funny face again. until i figured out it wasnt true.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite warning from the Sedaris piece is "He allowed me to mow the lawn only because he was to cheap to pay a landscaper and didn't want to do it himself. What happened is that the guy slipped, probably on a pile of crap, and his leg got caught up in the blade... Regardless of the heat, I mowed the lawn wearing long pants, knee high boots, a football helmet, and a pair of goggles. Before starting, I scouted the lawn for rocks and dog feces..." This quote made me laugh because when I ever mowed the lawn, I always wore a short sleeve shirt and shorts. ha ha. There are actually a couple warnings I remember from my childhood. "If you swallow a watermelon seed it will grow inside your stomach." and "Stop cracking your knuckles, it will give you arthritis!"
ReplyDeleteMy favorite warning in Cyclops is the one with the hammer "The problem weith a hammer is that the head can fly off at any moment and boy let me tell you you've never experienced pain like that." I like this one because my dad used to work with tools like hammers and saws and he taught me and my sister how to use them. In my experience with hammers not once has the head flown off. My favorite saying that my parents told me was that if i stuck my arm out the window too far it could get cut off. My older sister told me that one when i was little and i believed her so i didn't stick my arm out the window for months till i found out it wasn't true
ReplyDeleteMy favorite warning in Cyclops is " I knew a guy. a kid about your age, who was using a table saw wgen the blade came loose, and flew out of the machine, and sliced his face right in half." I have always been nervous around table saws and afraid of getting a limb chopped off...not once have i though of the whole blad coming up to cut ur face..ugh..that would be awful.! My mom always told me if I swallowed my gum a bubble gum tree would grow in my stomach..i never swallowed gum and still hate to do it.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite "warning" from Sedaris's piece is the bit about the garbage disposal: "He had his arm down the drain when the cat rubbed against the switch to the garbage disposal. Now he is wearing clip-on ties and having the resturant waiters cut up his steak." I found this rather amusing. I don't remember hearing anything too ridiculous, but often got the same old warning as every other child: "don't make that face too much or it will get stuck that way forever." I suppose I wouldn't have minded if I became pig-nosed seeing as I did it an awful lot. Health class in middle school could serve as a warning itself. I think that there is an underlying "warning" or scare tactic to keep children from having sex. We don't exactly need to hear in depth details about STD's when we are 13. It's rather scaring really.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite passage from "Cyclops" is when the dad told the story about the guy who chopped off his foot mowing the lawn.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger my mom would always make me swear on her life. I was told if I ever swear on her life and lie then she would die, or who ever life I swore on. I would never lie to my mother when ever she asked me something and made me swear on her life; but in the end I figured out that she wouldn't die when my older sister lied to her face and I knew she was lying. I still am afraid to lie when she makes me swear on her life because I would always think it was my fault something happened to her if I lied.
My favorite warning in the Cyclops story is when the dad talks about how he knew a guy that was using a table saw when the blade came losse, floew out of the machine, and sliced his face right in half. This is really hard to believe i thought.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up i got the usual warnings of not touching something or you will end up hurting yourself. One that i still remember to this day that actually did happen to the person not me, was my mom warned me to never light a match to look inside a gas tank of a law mower. My mother's cousin did that along time ago and it blew up in his face and he has horrible burns all over his face. I've never even thought about doing that before i heard the story and after.
My favorite warning from Cyclops is when he says "That license is going to be your death warrant." As if getting a license will kill you. His son is so scared to drive that he finds it safer to hitchhike..
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I remember making faces at family members and they always told me that if I did it long enough my face would stay that way. As a little kid you don't know any better. When you're in a bad mood or pouting when someone says that to you- the look on your face just gets worse.
my favorite was "the problem with a hammer....is that the head can fly off at any moment and, boy, let me tell you, you've never imagined pain like that"
ReplyDeleteI can remember when i was little my dad would tell me when i was caught picking my nose, that my finger would get stuck up there for life...i believed him for the longest time too. haha!
My favorite warning is when the father told his son about how he shot his best friends eye out with a BB gun. He said that was one foolish moment that hurt him for the rest of his life. I can relate to this; when i was younger everyone in my neighborhood played paintball every sunday. Kids and fathers joined to play. One day i was playing a game and one of my friends took off his mask because it was foggy and one of the ohter kids fathers shot at him multiple times even when he had his mask off and a paint ball hit his eye. He went to the hospital and the doctors said that he was going to lose all vision in his right eye. The father for the rest of his life most defiently regrets shooting at him with his mask off. A warning that my parents told me was that if a snow day was expected and i did not do my homework because i thought there was no school the next day there would be karma and there would be school and i would have none of my homework done. This made me do all my homework 100% complete just so it would up the chances of having a snowday.
ReplyDelete